Motivating Our Minds

Healing After Trauma

Living with the aftermath of a traumatic event can make finding the light at the end of the tunnel daunting or seemingly impossible. Whatever you are struggling with, it is okay. You are human. Your body has experienced trauma and will need some help and time with finding a rhythm that works again! Remember that healing takes time.

Healing is a very timely and effortful journey. It is one that requires immense thought about what you would like to change. Consider the outcome you wish to achieve. Is this outcome important to you? What would you need to do now to achieve this outcome? Are there things you are currently doing that may be preventing you from achieving the desired results? What are some things that you are doing currently that may help you? Lastly, what are the perceived benefits to achieving this outcome?

Asking ourselves these types of questions sparks self-evaluation and brings a sense of accountability. They serve as self-reflective strategies to help us learn more about ourselves as well as what we want to achieve (or change). This is assuming that achieving a desired, important outcome will push us in a healed and positive direction. Thus, following a detrimental experience, reflective questions might serve as stepping stones to regaining our ‘motivation’ for the future.

How can I nurture myself through my healing journey?

Motivation can be a very influential driver to making things happen during the healing journey. This is because motivation is a feeling of want that persuades us to behave in ways that push us toward change. While we can gain motivation from things or people around us, motivation is something that should ideally come from within. Think about it like this: if we only ever watched online videos of ripped personal trainers for motivation to lose body fat, what would happen if suddenly, we did not have exposure to these visuals? Perhaps we could function from memory, but chances are our drive would wither over time because that exposure is no longer within view. Without this exposure, we may feel less and less inclined to achieve our goals even though we know and feel that we should. If we are relying too heavily on the external rather than adjusting and listening to the internal, this feeling of motivation will require constant reloading. This is similar to how people need food and water to keep their energy levels up. The reason we are more inclined to work hard after viewing this content is because it ignites a feeling within us that makes us want something to an intense degree. This feeling is the key component to making positive change happen.

This is the same process post grief. There are things that your body may need during this time and of course, no one can tell you how to grieve or for how long. At the end of the day, how you do this is your individual right and nothing can take that away from you. However, this process can eventually place motivating feelings on the backburner because we become accustomed to the feelings and habits of grief. As a result, we may begin to make choices not to make positive changes. Therefore, during these challenging times is where that inner motivation is going to be the most difficult, but also the most cycle-breaking.

What can I do to encourage self-motivation?

Reflect on what you are doing right now and how you feel about it. How are your current choices benefitting you? How are your current choices holding you back? What are some things you feel you could be doing more of? What are some things you feel you could be doing less of? What could you be doing today to help yourself feel better tomorrow? Considering your feelings is where you will find truth. This is why watching fitness videos for example can give you that burst of initiative. They make you feel the need to look a certain way, to feel more energetic or maybe to try something new and exciting. What if you felt that way within yourself without the constant need to watch fitness videos first?

Turn your attention inward, asking yourself questions and holding yourself accountable to how you truly feel. If what you are doing is not making you feel how you wish to feel, self-reflection will help you realize it. This does not mean that you should not feel sadness, anger, frustration or confusion because you should and you can. It also does not imply that you should avoid finding motivation from the things in your environment! Finding motivation outside oneself is acceptable and it does work. However, keep in mind how uplifting it is to be your own superhero with powers that come from you alone. There is so much freedom in being more self-reliant and less co-dependent. After all, our environment is susceptible to change at any point in time whereas we are with ourselves along the entire journey! Find what is best for you by getting to know yourself better.

The main idea with making positive change is all about our self-talk and what we allow ourselves to get away with. Simply put: if you are not happy with something, change it. If you cannot change it, work on adjusting your lens.

It is important to be mindful that sometimes motivation will flow and other days it will require some deep soul-searching. There will be times where action will come without motivation, particularly during difficult moments. When this happens, try to remind yourself of what you are working toward and why it matters so much to you. Write it down, recite it, or draw it out if it works for you. No one said it would be easy! You just have to try it and see.

The first step is often the most difficult one. If you tried and failed, then at least you know more now than before you tried.

Keep your chin up and take it day-by-day.

This article was written by Kayla Cox, Suicide Prevention Program Educator with CMHA ASER.